Micheal Bay: Fuck You.

TMNT: a comic of far more gritty reality than ever portrayed.

The movies based on such? Not bad in an over all view. Dumbed down for a decidedly idiotic 'Green Light' panel board in the Hated land of Fuck-You-AND-Your-Childhood-Me

mories also known as Hollywood. The original movie managed to maintain that air of delight and wonder that only cheep effects and Henson studios can provide. While the plots did become increasingly ... camp. We forgave the copyright owners for there Female Turtle and there strange obsessions with yellow jump suits. We overlooked the way April went from a smart lab assistant to a reporter. We even managed to forget the 'Vanilla Ice' incident.

However: unlike the Wonder Woman is a lesbian, man-hating bitch in pants fiasco that Hollywood wisely understood would cause California to be forcibly SHOVED into the Pacific by pissed off fans, the studio execs did not get the memo about ALIEN TURTLES. How could you not realize this is a bad idea? Did you not LEARN from Avatar: the Last Air Bender? Has M.N. Shyamalan's fiasco not taught you anything?

Look, Execs you need to understand just one thing. We WILL kill you for the shredded tatters of your soul. We will then turn your burned and desiccated ashes into artificial jewels to decorate L.A.R.P. gear. When we are done we will take said soul and bind it to a snow globe for the sole purpose of shaking your sorry "Meh, what ever'-hand-waving-while-you-play-some-'ironic'-game-on-your-over-priced-tech-toy asses.

Remember: this is the digital age. We can find out who you are. There will be hate mail. There will be bad reviews. There will be Fresh Meat shoved inside the filter of your in-ground pool.

You can prevent this. You have this ability. STOP allowing IDIOTS to RUIN solid themes and stories for the sake of hiding poor decisions and a complete lack of creativity. Take that money you waste on over slick special effects and use it to pay decent writers. Ones who love the story you're clearly ripping off. If you stop making piss-poor 3D effects you can pay for original concepts.

Unless you're working for the Wyrm. Go on, say it. It's okay. We all know. Evil. Thy name is Apathy. It runs Hollywood. Time to lock-and-load, fans. We're takin' it down!

(Camp: when in reference to acting this word loosely translates into: the actors need a paycheck and the studio as run out of sex scandals to buy off.
Literally translated this word means: The studio executive and director wish to commit double suicide but haven't got the nuts to do so. They beg for the audience's help.)

(I will be coming for YOU M.N. Shyamalan. Don't bother to hide.)

(Every Exec in Hollywood share only one soul. It is a shredded piece of shroud that barely maintains form as they constantly fight over who gets to kick people while they are down first.)

(Henson: You the MAN. You and Mel Brooks come back. RIGHT NOW.)