What the Fuck.
No seriously, what the fuck. When you first came on the scene you promised us quality shows informing us about the news as it happens, comedy that lightens the heart and dramas that made us think. Yes the price was mild radiation, migraines induced by the rotating flicker of analog television tubes and the inevitable shorting of the attention span while increasing the more aggressive parts of our brains.
We didn't care.
We signed those contracts, learned how to get better signals with tinfoil and stopped routine regulated exercise. We created food that can be bought and brought home with out ruining, delivery services and microwavable snacks all so we wouldn't miss a moment of your levity and deeply searing reflections of the human condition. We did it all for you.
You lying, backstabbing whore.
Oh sure, you kept your promises for the first few years. We were so happy with you. You were our status, our wonder, our constant companion and we loved you. We understood you need for a creative break in the 70s, where all things made were ether camp, crap or tried way to hard. We understood you were giving it your all. We forgave you for things like Supertrain and Automan because we learned they were merely the precursors to the Mall of America and Jem 80s.
We watched you regain your spunk with Murphy Brown and Cheers. We were okay with your foray into off color humor and the Fox network.
Bu you should know, T.V. - we had you tested when you started this 'reality' stick. We got the results.
We having you committed T.V. You've not only lost your edge, but you have started to under-go dementia. Your ponies may be cooler, but your He-Man was worse. Your sitcoms flounder and you have started to put them all into those pill compartments your meds should be in. We know this is true. We have tried to find decent shows through out the week only to discover the poor things trussed up and shoved into the same time slot on the same day of the week while your less fortunate mistakes are left to wallow about in there filth, un-neutered and a blight upon our kind.
T.V. we loved you, perhaps we still do. But it's time.
Enjoy Green Acres. We trust they got that place fixed up by now.
No seriously, what the fuck. When you first came on the scene you promised us quality shows informing us about the news as it happens, comedy that lightens the heart and dramas that made us think. Yes the price was mild radiation, migraines induced by the rotating flicker of analog television tubes and the inevitable shorting of the attention span while increasing the more aggressive parts of our brains.
We didn't care.
We signed those contracts, learned how to get better signals with tinfoil and stopped routine regulated exercise. We created food that can be bought and brought home with out ruining, delivery services and microwavable snacks all so we wouldn't miss a moment of your levity and deeply searing reflections of the human condition. We did it all for you.
You lying, backstabbing whore.
Oh sure, you kept your promises for the first few years. We were so happy with you. You were our status, our wonder, our constant companion and we loved you. We understood you need for a creative break in the 70s, where all things made were ether camp, crap or tried way to hard. We understood you were giving it your all. We forgave you for things like Supertrain and Automan because we learned they were merely the precursors to the Mall of America and Jem 80s.
We watched you regain your spunk with Murphy Brown and Cheers. We were okay with your foray into off color humor and the Fox network.
Bu you should know, T.V. - we had you tested when you started this 'reality' stick. We got the results.
We having you committed T.V. You've not only lost your edge, but you have started to under-go dementia. Your ponies may be cooler, but your He-Man was worse. Your sitcoms flounder and you have started to put them all into those pill compartments your meds should be in. We know this is true. We have tried to find decent shows through out the week only to discover the poor things trussed up and shoved into the same time slot on the same day of the week while your less fortunate mistakes are left to wallow about in there filth, un-neutered and a blight upon our kind.
T.V. we loved you, perhaps we still do. But it's time.
Enjoy Green Acres. We trust they got that place fixed up by now.
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