PULL YOUR DAMNED PANTS UP!

You heard me, you dumb ass fool. Pull your Pants Up! You are not gansta, you are not fashionable, it dose not make you appear even remotely tough. If you even glimmer the original meaning of baggy pants you are ether crippled, in jail, Snoop Dogg or dead.

D. E. A. D.

This is why inner city fashion evolves at such a rapid pace. These things mean something to gangs. Not you fake prescription drug dealing wanna-be-a-pimp's. Actual shoot-you-dead-don't-you-talk-about-my-mother-where's-my-money-bitch! GANGSTER. They don't like the way you mock them.

They who often grew up unable to afford well fitting clothes and thus wore pants to large for them, as they were all that could be bought on what the household could afford.

They who would have loved to have a name brand on there clothes. They who often would join a gang just for a chance to get money for the rest of their families so that they would not die in vein. Yes, they knew they had a very high chance of dieing in a gang. They took that chance.

And you mock them. You impersonate them. You wonder why they up-nod you and chuckle when you round the corner. But now, yes Now -you have gone to far.

Look, you wanna-be whack job, it is as simple as this:

If you require suspenders to hold your pants up because you refuse to buy the correct size you clearly deserve to be kicked in the nads by every single family member of every gang member that ever died just to get the chance to help his family. Then the rest of us - who know your not at all representing the culture form whence the fashion came or even remotely respecting the lesson such clothing represents - will take upon ourselves, for the betterment of the human race (and many house pets) the necessary precautions to ensure you LEARN why what you are doing is so very wrong.

I WILL TAKE YOUR SORRY ASSES BACK TO OLD SCHOOL and I SHALL BEAT YOU WITH AN unabridged HISTORY BOOK until you BEG!

Dear T.V.

What the Fuck.

No seriously, what the fuck. When you first came on the scene you promised us quality shows informing us about the news as it happens, comedy that lightens the heart and dramas that made us think. Yes the price was mild radiation, migraines induced by the rotating flicker of analog television tubes and the inevitable shorting of the attention span while increasing the more aggressive parts of our brains.

We didn't care.

We signed those contracts, learned how to get better signals with tinfoil and stopped routine regulated exercise. We created food that can be bought and brought home with out ruining, delivery services and microwavable snacks all so we wouldn't miss a moment of your levity and deeply searing reflections of the human condition. We did it all for you.

You lying, backstabbing whore.

Oh sure, you kept your promises for the first few years. We were so happy with you. You were our status, our wonder, our constant companion and we loved you. We understood you need for a creative break in the 70s, where all things made were ether camp, crap or tried way to hard. We understood you were giving it your all. We forgave you for things like Supertrain and Automan because we learned they were merely the precursors to the Mall of America and Jem 80s.

We watched you regain your spunk with Murphy Brown and Cheers. We were okay with your foray into off color humor and the Fox network.

Bu you should know, T.V. - we had you tested when you started this 'reality' stick. We got the results.

We having you committed T.V. You've not only lost your edge, but you have started to under-go dementia. Your ponies may be cooler, but your He-Man was worse. Your sitcoms flounder and you have started to put them all into those pill compartments your meds should be in. We know this is true. We have tried to find decent shows through out the week only to discover the poor things trussed up and shoved into the same time slot on the same day of the week while your less fortunate mistakes are left to wallow about in there filth, un-neutered and a blight upon our kind.

T.V. we loved you, perhaps we still do. But it's time.

Enjoy Green Acres. We trust they got that place fixed up by now.

Nickelodeon: You have redeemed yourself.

Avatar: the Last Air Bender, (cartoon not the M.N. Shyamalan bunk that shall be ripped a new one in another post), was with out a doubt a wonder of modern storytelling. The are was beautiful, the mythology well thought out and the world defined with meticulous detail. All in all, fabulous. Enough of a balance between romance, adventure and silly to satisfy every palette. Even the fluff episodes made more and gave greater background to the plot.

Avatar: the Legend of Korra is shaping up to be quite a good sequel. From how Aang is the air bender seen in the opening to how the reconciliation of fire and water carry over from the original, it is wonderful to know the world has evolved rather than stagnated or repeated itself with out adjusting for the last lives lived.

According to reincarnation theory/myths the life of the old soul impacts the lives of all new souls. This is because of two theories, both of which are true in there own way.

The first is that the soul becomes the animal or plant or what not that will teach the soul a lesson it has yet to absorb through its previous lives. The second is that souls that are nether horrific nor resplendent are allowed to dwell upon the mistakes and glories of there less than awesome lives. Then those souls are made to forget, and sent into what amounts to a dismantling plant. The parts are put back together, though not necessarily in the same way, and often mixed with parts from others. This allows them to become more than they were, one way or the other.

This also applies genetic imprinting and a social conscious that becomes a tie to the lessons of the past. Like when you hate people with out knowing why. Perhaps in a past life you dealt with someone a lot like them who did you very wrong or there is a part of their soul that you recognize as anti-you. Ether way, you are made up of your past.

When I watch Avatar I see this in effect. As an intricate part of the lore in the world the show takes place, it is good to know the research was done and is reflected. In two shows I see Zuko reflected, Aang and a few others. Bumi is most certainly a little nutter spark plug, much like his name sake. I see traces of all the personalities we know; from the cabbage merchant to the parents of Hope; recurrences are a very good sign of things to come.

While many say Republic City is to modern, I am aware of how much can change in a short amount of time. I am also aware that that city is stated to be out of balance. This makes sense as the modern era is reflected in this aria- minus the staunch pollution. I also see the reflection of the adage: Absolute Power...

I look forward to seeing how this sequel pans out and will be looking for those odd inconsistencies. Nickelodeon, I'm watching you.

I'm. Watching. You.

White Howlers Are not BSDs.

You know the argument, BSDs were howlers. We understand. Yet when new art work comes out for WtA we expect to see Howlers as different from BSDs. BSDs should be twisted, dark, punkish goth monstrosities that roam the base edges of the waking nightmare. Howlers should be the very best of the Wolves.

Many disagree, as there idea to go into the Wyrms hidyhole was universally thought to be a genius as the metal spiked butt plug. Hindsight, 20/20, all that. However I say it took balls. Big ol' shinny ones. The real issue was that the collective willpower of the Howlers could be considered ... low due to that blue paint they put on there forms. For those who don't know, that blue stuff was a drug. Yhup. Even back then the paint was toxic.

There is so much more to that story, but really that's another rant. This one is about bluebells and why they make a huge difference between Howlers and BSDs.

With this in mind it is clear to note that the Howlers were more Druidic in culture and that should be reflected in the style they are (art) in. The BSDs, coming from the same yet being left in Greece/Roma when they went nutters should reflect more of that aria, though they should maintain the build of their pregenerators.

I have seen the sketches for the other tribes and while I take a few issues with them, I do not want to punch the artists nads as much as when I see the BSD look on the White Howlers.

So: White Wolf: Shoot your artist in the knee. It may help the guy focus if he cant run about all day leaving the rest of us to wallow in scratch and sniff sketches.

Micheal Bay: Fuck You.

TMNT: a comic of far more gritty reality than ever portrayed.

The movies based on such? Not bad in an over all view. Dumbed down for a decidedly idiotic 'Green Light' panel board in the Hated land of Fuck-You-AND-Your-Childhood-Me

mories also known as Hollywood. The original movie managed to maintain that air of delight and wonder that only cheep effects and Henson studios can provide. While the plots did become increasingly ... camp. We forgave the copyright owners for there Female Turtle and there strange obsessions with yellow jump suits. We overlooked the way April went from a smart lab assistant to a reporter. We even managed to forget the 'Vanilla Ice' incident.

However: unlike the Wonder Woman is a lesbian, man-hating bitch in pants fiasco that Hollywood wisely understood would cause California to be forcibly SHOVED into the Pacific by pissed off fans, the studio execs did not get the memo about ALIEN TURTLES. How could you not realize this is a bad idea? Did you not LEARN from Avatar: the Last Air Bender? Has M.N. Shyamalan's fiasco not taught you anything?

Look, Execs you need to understand just one thing. We WILL kill you for the shredded tatters of your soul. We will then turn your burned and desiccated ashes into artificial jewels to decorate L.A.R.P. gear. When we are done we will take said soul and bind it to a snow globe for the sole purpose of shaking your sorry "Meh, what ever'-hand-waving-while-you-play-some-'ironic'-game-on-your-over-priced-tech-toy asses.

Remember: this is the digital age. We can find out who you are. There will be hate mail. There will be bad reviews. There will be Fresh Meat shoved inside the filter of your in-ground pool.

You can prevent this. You have this ability. STOP allowing IDIOTS to RUIN solid themes and stories for the sake of hiding poor decisions and a complete lack of creativity. Take that money you waste on over slick special effects and use it to pay decent writers. Ones who love the story you're clearly ripping off. If you stop making piss-poor 3D effects you can pay for original concepts.

Unless you're working for the Wyrm. Go on, say it. It's okay. We all know. Evil. Thy name is Apathy. It runs Hollywood. Time to lock-and-load, fans. We're takin' it down!

(Camp: when in reference to acting this word loosely translates into: the actors need a paycheck and the studio as run out of sex scandals to buy off.
Literally translated this word means: The studio executive and director wish to commit double suicide but haven't got the nuts to do so. They beg for the audience's help.)

(I will be coming for YOU M.N. Shyamalan. Don't bother to hide.)

(Every Exec in Hollywood share only one soul. It is a shredded piece of shroud that barely maintains form as they constantly fight over who gets to kick people while they are down first.)

(Henson: You the MAN. You and Mel Brooks come back. RIGHT NOW.)

Why I Blog

After dubious amounts of research I have come to the conclusion that I have a very great need to stab some quite a few industries in sensitive parts. Since my life is dull as crap, I have decided to rant my vehement objections here for all to see. No short statuses will be these. No. They will be great big comments on why things SUCK.








Occasionally I will give things props.

When I remember to update them. Next update soon.